Travelblips

Rebuilding your life over and over again in new locations gives one a unique insight into the friendliness and hospitality of the local people. As mentioned previously, how easy it is to stumble into a social network can depend on where you move to and why you moved. Recently, I moved to Newfoundland and find that in these early stages, it is not unlike moving to Sydney, Australia.

However, there were differences… Firstly I moved here for a job only – I thought when I moved to Canada, I’d be moving to the West coast, where I had a few friends. I knew from my lessons in Sydney that I could not rely on them entirely, but I knew all of them were in situations where it was most unlikely I was going to have a repeat of what happened in Sydney other than a loss of ‘exotic friend’ status. But instead, I was offered a job out east where I did not know a soul.

Secondly, I didn’t think I was moving here alone. I thought for the first time, I was going to move to a new area and actually be able to discover it with a partner by my side. I thought it would be easier to have someone to talk to at the end of the day, a friend by my side who wasn’t going to kick me out for no longer not being ‘exotic’ or a third wheel. That dream came to an abrupt end the week after I arrived here! I’m not a recluse although can be a wallflower, but I don’t aspire to spend my life alone either, even though that is the way it has turned out so far.

So once again, I was starting over in a new place, here for a job, in an English-speaking country – the toughest place to establish yourself afresh and not knowing a soul. Well, not to worry, I thought, everyone tells me the Newfoundlanders are the friendliest people in Canada…?!

Well, its true, they are friendly. And they will bend over backwards to help you. But to try and actually form a friendship with them??? Err, I find them to be a bit like the people from Sydney… The first clue was in the general greeting I get, for example:

“Hello,” they may say by way of greeting (nothing out of the norm here).
“Hello,” I reply. I will usually follow this up with some question, observation or statement, depending on what led to the conversation being started. Then the conversation will end. Then there may either be silence or:
“So, how long are you here for?”

How long am I here for??? And right there, you have a clue into the average psyche of a Newfoundlander! Not ‘what brings you here?’ or ‘have you moved here?’ as I am usually asked! Everywhere else I’ve travelled in North America, people are usually curious as to why I am in their great and glorious state/province/country and it never ever crosses their mind to question how long I might be there. Indeed, most like to hope I will stay because there is no place greater than where I would be standing right at that moment… But a Newfoundlander just automatically assumes I am going to move on.

I think the thought processes behind what is to me is an odd reaction are rooted in their history. Newfoundlanders are extremely protective about their province and there are still people who remember a time when Newfoundland was not a part of Canada (they joined in 1949). But life has not been easy and it’s a standing ‘joke’ and bitter reality that many of them have to work in other provinces. Reading the local papers I am acutely aware of how many Newfoundlanders want to ‘return home’ and this sudden silence I encounter quite often makes me feel a little awkward like my being here has denied a native Newfoundlander the right to be return and work here. But I think a Newfoundlander would die of mortification to know they have made me feel that way!

I also find that the friendly charm the Newfoundlanders were showing me a moments beforehand dries up and they become uncertain when they find out I am not going anywhere. My accent seems to stun them into silence. They are, I suspect, to polite to show any curiosity as to where I’ve come from, and the more I babble at them, the more the silence grows.

What I am beginning to realise is the Newfoundlanders are possibly the most hospitable people in Canada, and certainly can be very chatty (although no more than anywhere else in Canada), but when it comes to actually trying to integrate in their world… well, they are like Sydney locals. They have grown up here, they have a strong network of friend and family and they don’t really need some socially-starved foreign interloper come in – especially as they expect that said interloper may just bound off in a few years time be it from economic pressures, work or just being a nomad. Like the sentiment the Sydney people seemed to exude, its almost like its to much effort to invest in developing a friendship to have that person disappear on you. And like dating, to show curiosity is to invite that person into your world…

Bit of a shame really. In Sydney, such attitudes actually encouraged people to move on. As I noted before , people usually cycled through Sydney within 5 years. The only friends made were other ‘transients’ – even if being transient meant you were going to be there for 2 years, 5 years or 10 years! The problem with joining up with other transients is they are… transient. Eventually, they leave and if there isn’t someone strong holding the group together, it gradually disintegrates. I had a great time in Denver in the mid 1990s when I met up with a group of Australian transients. I am still friends with some of them. And yet, when I returned to Denver 3 years later for 6 months, all the Australians had left and the few Denver natives I knew had also plugged the gap left in their lives by the disappearing Aussies.

I’ve only been here 6 weeks. I am here for a good 2 years. I have joined an athletic club, but so far my accent stuns people into silence every time I open my mouth. Or they maybe slightly neurotic women I am speaking to… I look forward to summer when some short courses will open up and I will be able to start partaking in them (although of course, with summer I disappear into the wilderness on mainland Canada…). I know eventually I will meet some people and gradually make friends. Maybe it will take 6 months as it did for me in Denver, or maybe 4 years, as it did for me in Sydney.

The thing that gets me though is it gets tiring… More so as I don’t think this will be the last time I move somewhere. My base to spring forth and see the world I fear, lies further west. This adventure is to be repeated yet again. But that is my choice and 2 years is a long way off at this point and I realise things could change…

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